POEMS (Bulgarian)

I've published ten publications regarding my process and life experiences. These are aimed both at other writers, who want to compare notes, and readers, who a curious on how such a massive project comes into existence. These texts are not some claim of literary masterwork. My attempt at that is The Ultimate Deal. They are merely my rambling thoughts on how I managed to write my novel.

(10/10) The Ultimate Deal is filled with love. But the novel often is a dark and lonely book. That was deliberate. I am going to let you in on a little secret. The novel starts happy and stupid, that's the bait. In Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert Heinlein, a book I read after finishing The Ultimate Deal , one of the problems of the human martian is that he cannot laugh, but (SPOILERS): SPOILERS he starts laughing when a monkey beats up another monkey in the zoo; the sec

(9/10) The Ultimate Deal is a massive saga. In its debut paperback format it was around 700 pages in Bulgarian, but I prefer the word count: 190 000 words. The book has four sub-books with the four storylines, those of: Barry, Alexa, Dragan, and Entity. From the start, I didn't want to underestimate my reader's intelligence. In any case, such a massive project: without clear solutions to financing, without clear ideas about marketing and if anyone would actually like to read

(8/10) Something I was deeply ashamed to talk about was that I came from a politically charged family. I don't know why I was ashamed, after all, my parents were actually true patriots, not some illiterate far right simpletons. My father was an Ambassador, first in Portugal for Bulgaria, then for the Council of Europe in Moldova and Montenegro. Some people may imagine that life of a politician, even if that of a diplomat, is some luxurious dream but there were periods where I

(7/10) I chose for my insanity the piano cover above of the song by the Pixies in Fight Club . I first heard the cover in Mr. Robot. This version always makes me cry, even when I originally wrote the post, and even when I am now translating it. I am no musician, but in the song I hear music that is in conflict with itself. Mostly melancholic, but with a desperate, painful optimism and grain of sadness after something lost, cut out of my own soul. And then again there is hope

(6/10) I don't believe in coincidences. Or at least, I don't think, I believe in coincidences. When a writer starts writing a book, they have to have one goal and one goal only: their book needs to be smarter than them. If a writer writes a book that's stupider than them, it's clear they failed. If they write a book that is as smart as them, it's just a stroke of the ego. But if they write a book, in which they find life, coincidences, happenstances, and poetry, a book which

(5/10) It's good to have a cause. If you don't have a cause, you don't get to bitch that others are only interested in stupid shit. Admittedly, I get distracted pretty easily to make a charitable cause stick. I am not consistent enough to help out in a soup kitchen or participate in cleaning initiatives and I do believe that is a fault in my character that I should probably fix. Maybe I am just lazy because I choose the easy way out. I donate to cause X that I find meaningfu

(4/10) The Ultimate Deal has four main characters: Barry Anderson, Alexandra Page, Dragan Angelov, and the artificial intelligence Entity. In fact, it also has other main characters, but these are my personal favorites. I needed some baseline to develop these heroes, so I injected in them parts of my character. But it is a big mistake for a writer to write about himself, or about their friends and to change their clothes so that they become characters in a book. No. I broke a

(3/10) When I say that writing a book is a crazy thing to do, I am being serious. The book put me in the red. The reason: on June 1st, 2021 (the Official Bulgarian Children Holiday), I submitted my resignation and did not start working again till July 1st, 2024, a weekend after publishing the book. I had a reasonable job with decent pay (I was writing health technology assessments). I did the math and figured, I can survive a year and write a book. At that time, the working t

(2/10) In Teenage Wasteland  I talk about the rebellion of youth, which gives me the courage to walk on roads less traveled on. Sound a bit pretentious, and it probably is, but I want to give you some perspective on how a man can be motivated, while their soul wants one thing, but their reason tells them another. The Ultimate Deal in its essence is a science fiction novel. You could call it a soft sci-fi novel because it does not go deep into the implemented technologies of

(1/10) All in all, writing a book is not a rational decision. Even if there is a chance for the book to turn all right, you need to dedicate time, concentration, preparation, and (most of all) delusion. The odds of a biological unit like me to say something meaningful are pretty slim. The odds of achieving reasonable sales and maybe even writing a popular book, so that my ego is satisfied, are close to zero. But there's a thing nobody tells you about writers. The writer, the

June 2024 I presented The Ultimate Deal 's Bulgarian paperback to relatives, friends and other amazing people. The book came out after a three-year laborious process in which the first draft was done after a year. It was followed by a year of editing and another year of writer's woes. Now a year later, I have the English translation. Not going to lie. It was difficult. But I never quit and put forth a book I am proud of. But none of this would have mattered without the people

Watch Biohazard here . Yo, I have my very own short movie. Tbf, I can hardly have ‘my own movie’. Movies are quite the team effort, and it will be a bit arrogant to say that it’s entirely mine (only the script is my own). But tbf, I(we) have a movie. My post is about Biohazard, which tells the story of two scientists, one of which ends up locked up in a lab after spilling a little bit of virus on himself. Biohazard was written early 2019, so it’s a bit clairvoyant, especially

Но окото гледа и се засища. След това се премества към нова картина. И все пак, което ръката полива, окото повече разбира.

Няма страшно, ще премине и таз смразяваща вълна Няма страшно, ще надвием дребната, невидима войска Само пет процента жертви, пресмятаме сега

Аз съм просто машина с калциеви зъби и месест език. Във своето ДНК и кабели тънки древни спомени имам...

Няколко мига, или бяха секунди, отнемам от теб с очи безумни.

Без отрова не мога, бялото става на черно. През спомени говоря, потъвам закономерно.

Вълните кротко плискат под облаците над брега. От ветровете тайно искам шепота им да крада.

The softhearted whisper of the cerulean space.

Due to the numerous places where a sorry author needs to sell themselves, I am adding this post to clarify where you can find the different communities of The Ultimate Deal.

Разделя се зимният вятър между сградите на сивия град, а тръпнат листата обагрени и чувам аз техния глас...

Nothing can be demanded. No deals can be struck. When facing God one can only beg...

A burned hand learns to fear the flame in milliseconds...

Did I leave it in my pocket, next to the keys to my home? Or in my wallet, or with my phone?

The city’s lights burn retinas with the afterglow of shaky swirls while pretty head-ache flames crawl through the back of my skull.

I traded with the devil my eyes for his sight. He also gave me hearing where whispers arrived.

Somewhere I read "write the truest thing you know" so I decided to have a go...

You have seen our spirits as we walked on earth on the roads where you survive to love.

Can a candle light the way if a candle can just say that a man tried to pray for his body made of clay?

Birds bolt as bells blast the silence. The sun vaults rays casting shadows. Past is the time where high temples were built.

From the flowering petals to the crashing waves, from the burning stars to the singing birds, the atoms breathe...

Oh, it’s grand feeling like the center of attention... with all the birds and trees singing outside of comprehension...

There is something very deeply religious about star-gazing or collecting stamps, or building shrines out of fly-ridden cow heads.

The youth that was I, Schrödinger said, there is no intermediate break no death... nor will there ever be.

But in the real world, in the physical world, you, you were born to a line of fucking monsters...

I keep talking to you. Whether you passed in your sleep or your brain shut down or your body turned against you...

I once gazed into the water and a shadow gazed back into me.

One can easily think what is the unthinkable. But how does one forget what is unforgettable?

Caffeine peaks bringing on the tidal flow. Rabbit heart beats cardboard melts to painted snow.

If I were the man To wake up next to you For a year, I would...